Fear is our brain's attempt to protect us from danger. Sometimes fear is good and has probably saved our lives on multiple occasions. More often than not, though, fear is not our friend because it gets in the way of living fully and getting what we really want.
"Our fears are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win...... by fearing to attempt."
- William Shakespeare
Get What You Want
Fears often keep us from getting what we want: doing what we want, asking for what we want, being who we want, even wanting what we want.
One of my life mottoes has been "Get what you want." If you don't go after it and succeed, then by definition, you're getting less than what you want. What's the point of that?
A friend on Search and Rescue told me years ago "You're not afraid of anything. And if you are, you run toward it."
I wish she had been right about the first part, but she wasn't. Just like anybody else, I had my own deep down fears tripping me up, getting in the way, and sometimes stopping me from even trying. Especially after trying despite the fears, still getting tripped up, and crashing and burning too many times, I eventually decided that I didn't want to go through all that again, and quit trying until I could get it right.
She was right about the second part, though. I hated those fears, and whenever I found one, I would confront it and blast my way through. The problem came with the invisible fears. The ones I didn't even know I had, for a long time, and once I realized they had been there all along, it still took a long time to find them and be able to do something about them.
Which finally led to this morning's epiphany: that the best defense is a good offense. Fears are always defensive, see? They try to prevent bad things from happening. But worse things happen by not trying than by trying. So rather than creating safety by checking out, I'd much rather create safety by charging forward and creating success rather than avoiding failure.
Yeah, yeah, I know. Easier said than done. But if you can get down deep to those subconscious fears and let them go, then it's not so hard to live courageously and let things work out in your favor. Recommendation: if you want to get down that deep fast, find yourself an outstanding energy worker. I recommend Utah Energy Works.
Get What You Really Want
Sometimes you don't really want what you think you want. Sometimes your wants or wishes are totally unrealistic. Maybe you want to be the most rich and powerful person on earth. Maybe you're in love with someone who's just not a good match for you (like a celebrity who doesn't even know you exist). Maybe you wish everyone would love and accept you just the way you are. Maybe you wish life would be easy and you could just relax or go to sleep until it's all over.
The good news is that wants and wishes like these are reactions to your subconscious fears and misperceptions. Once you clear them up, your goals become more realistic (they may still be sky-high, but they'll be attainable) and you'll feel satisfied with the things that fit you best.
For example: an unsatiable hunger for money or power could be a reaction to a fear of scarcity. Coveting someone who doesn't match you may be due to a codependent belief that you're not good enough, happy enough, etc. and that the other person would complete you and you would live happily ever after. Wishing for acceptance without growth (though, admittedly, some people are never satisfied and it's their issues that prevent them from appreciating you - if so, move on, or at least stop expecting what you won't get from them) can indicate fatigue from trying in ways that don't work, but if you got clear, you'd find success and life would be worth living again.
The True You
More good news is that you are not your fears. Fear is just an emotion - a reaction to certain thoughts, and thoughts can change. Fear happens when your brain imagines bad things, and thus, it's only an illusion.
The real "You", the permanent part, the part you were always meant to be, and the part with the power to make you happy and successful despite any challenge, consists only of all the talents and love you have inside.
Be that, instead of the fears. Pay attention to that part of you, believe in yourself, and let talent, courage and love grow until they overshadow all else.
On that note, I'll conclude with the great poem by Marianne Williamson: