Here's a brief reminder of something important that you probably already knew, sort of: choose your perceptions carefully. Why? Because perception is reality. Your expectations have a way of coming true. If you believe that people can't be trusted and they'll all abandon or hurt you, for example, you'll be that much more likely to read those intentions into all their words actions. You'll act like you expect that from them in subtle ways that you may not even recognize yourself. You'll push and prod them - directly or indirectly, like by being moody because you think people can't be trusted - until they do in fact leave you. There are two main reasons why you'll act according to such negative perceptions. In the first place, it's because your subconscious mind can't stand conflict. It doesn't know how to be wrong. The subconscious is not logical and reasonable. It's symbolic and emotional. So if you believe something - whether it's good for you or not - your brain is all too happy to make sure the universe proves you right, even if it means ignoring or twisting all evidence to the contrary. In the second place, it's a cry for help, a request for someone to come along who will prove you wrong and rescue you from your doubts, fears and needs. But it will never happen, because most people who are "ahead" of you in whatever sense you need would rather associate with others on their "level." You aren't their responsibility. You are your own responsibility, and if you don't take care of yourself, no one else can make up for that. Even if that self-sacrificing hero does come along, you won't recognize him/her. Sure, many people are kind enough to give you a few minutes here and there, but it's not fair to ask them to sacrifice their entire lives to save you, and sometimes that's the only kind of proof that could ever change your mind (or so you think, when in fact even that doesn't work. The fact remains that you still have to change your own mind). On the other hand, if you believe that people are good and caring and interested in you and that the whole world is on your side, you'll act according to that perception, too, and give it a much better shot at coming true. You'll smile at people and go forward with confidence. People will respond more positively to you because they like being around people like you - it makes it easier for them to feel that way, too. When you fail, you'll try again and failure won't discourage you - why would it? The whole world is on your side! Which perception would you prefer to live with? Positive, hopeful, pleasant pictures; or negative views full of struggle, difficulty and loneliness? Duh. Now for the second important point to remember: you CAN choose your perceptions! Most people keep whatever perceptions happen to fall in their lap. They collect a few basic beliefs when young and never think to exchange them for something better. Sometimes these perceptions can get deeply entrenched in the subconscious, rooted in tight, secured in place by powerful attached emotions, and supported by all kinds of reasoning and "evidence" [which is usually biased by your original bias proving itself "right"]. Sometimes you'd like to believe something happier and more productive, but you just can't justify it. It simply doesn't make sense. People *are* mean or shallow or chicken or smarter than you or whatever your perception may be. Life *is* hard or you just can't win or it's too late or whatever your perception may be. If that's the case, try out these suggestions:

1. Choose anyway. Learn to make your conscious choice stronger than your default thinking habits and comfort zones. Write down your goal-perception somewhere you'll see it often and keep saying it over and over. Choose to believe it as much as possible. Acknowledge that a positive perception is just as valid as anything else.
2. Read something encouraging or watch an inspiring movie where someone overcomes trials involving perceptions like your problem ones.
3. Look around and start gathering any information available to support the view you want to own. Notice people being nice to each other, people succeeding, whatever it is you need, and say "That could happen to me!"
4. Write about it in your journal (or just write and write and write and then throw it away if you want. Or just type and type and type even if the computer is turned off). Let your brain explore other possibilities so it can start developing alternatives which makes the transition more comfortable.
5. Get help from a skilled counselor or energy worker.
6. Check out IBelieveInYou.org and stay tuned for an announcement of our first cheer tunnel, then show up. You won't believe how good it makes you feel! You'll come out feeling like you're on top of the world and like you can accomplish anything.

Hint: you can. If you'll just believe.