That's how today began. "It's impossible. I can't do it." I don't know how this works, but I simultaneously meant it completely and yet I knew it was just a trick. A tool. A way to remove all the pressure of my self expectations and lighten my load so I would suddenly find myself doing all the things I have to do with so much less effort. Then I went to work. I kept on getting things done like I've been doing forever, hoping that something great will work out this time instead of just more disappointment and endless struggle. Getting things done is good. And then I called my friend Melanee. One of my very favorite people in the whole world. She's like me in many ways, and it's rare to feel as understood and appreciated as she makes me feel, and the feeling is mutual. She started reading my vampire book recently and left a message last weekend about how much she was enjoying it. I wanted to hear more and just see how she was doing and catch up. We spent two hours on the phone and a dozen blog post ideas came and went that I wanted to stop and write RIGHT THEN. But of course I didn't want to hang up. We talked about writing (with a dozen subtopics: a writers' conference she attended recently, marketing plans, what makes certain aspects of writing work, etc.), the depth of interpersonal interaction these days (or rather, the lack of, and how facebook and twitter and the media are dumbing down America - don't get me wrong, I LOVE facebook and the connections it helps me maintain, but online conversations RARELY foster any depth unless maybe they begin with an in-depth article to discuss), her daughter's fish that just died and got flushed down the toilet, influence (including something Malcolm Gladwell talks about in The Tipping Point called "senders" - people whose presence has a strong influence on others' moods, etc.), motivation (in particular, the type of people who are DRIVEN to excellence - in fact I'll blog about that in a second), and more. Anyway. Today has turned into a rather nice day. Thank Heaven for best friends. Thanks for being awesome, Melanee! I love you.