I hope you've all enjoyed your holidays immensely. There's certainly something unique about Christmastime. Maybe it's the decorations, or the music, or the Savior's birth, or the gifts, or the sales, or visits with family and friends, or time off from work or school, or the fact that everyone's in a giving mood and it's easier to feel generous.
I'm going to admit, I've had a totally miserable Christmas this year, with some notable exceptions; but, reluctantly, I also admit that I wouldn't trade it for a normal one. Not this year. But from here on out, yes, give me merry Christmases from now on, please.
I had an unpleasant little turn of events which turned out much more difficult than expected. Much more. But probably most of that difficulty didn't come directly from the experience. Most of it was *triggered* by the experience but came from old echoes of this recurring event. In other words, it brought up old issues, unresolved suffering, unrealistic expectations, need for new lessons, etc.
The reason I wouldn't trade in this miserable holiday season is that having all this junk get triggered gave me the chance to work through and change it. Upgrade perceptions. Clean out the closets. Make better choices. Learn important lessons.
Since I couldn't ignore it, I worked on it a lot between other tasks, and I made a lot of much needed headway. I'm almost happy again, or getting closer at least, and once I am, I'll feel better than I have for a long time. Everything around me will work better. Frustrations will diminish, successes will grow.
So it was worth it, see?
I'm still reluctant to admit that, because it really has not been at all fun. It has been so much HARD work and I am TIRED.
Now I'm curious. What do you do when things don't go your way? Do you ever recognize your role, your portion of the fault in why things didn't turn out better? Do you then see how you can improve yourself in order to improve future outcomes? Or do you simply ignore it, sweep it under the carpet, put it behind you, go do something fun or relaxing, put a band aid on the wound, and then carry on, business as usual?
I think I am like you. I probably don’t work as hard on it, but when something is not going how I like, or I’m not as happy as I want to be, I find myself sorting through my life looking for what can go, what needs to change, or what I can do better/different. I think if one isn’t happy, that’s a big sign that says something needs to change, and it would be silly and a waste of life to ignore that. (even if it means changing your environment completely – which definitely isn’t always easy.)
I hope the work you’ve put into making things better brings beautiful results!!! You deserve to be happy! I love you and I think you are the greatest!!! Give us a call if you ever want to stop by, hang out, or talk! 🙂
Shaun, I love posts that are honest and come from the heart. Just remember, that no matter what life deals you, it doesn’t change the fact that you are an amazing person, even during a miserable Christmas.
I think I know what you are referring to in a veiled manner, and I am sorry.
Hummm…how do I deal with hard things…honestly, I really do try to grow, insofar as I am aware of things that I can change. Generally if things didn’t work out and I feel like there was something I could have done better, I read, read, read about it and try to learn all that I can and try to learn how to change. And apply what I learn next time the opportunity comes.
In the hard times remember that life will bring you both pleasure and pain. Live both to the fullest. I love you Shaun!!
Although I’m glad you can approach it with such a constructive attitude, I’m still so sorry you had a miserable Christmas this year. I’m guessing it has something to do with some Facebook relationship status changes I saw. As to how I deal with things not going my way (not referring to relationships in particular though), I tend to take responsibility for anything that could remotely be perceived as within my control, and then I get depressed about how flawed I am and how unlikely it seems that I’ll change. Not so constructive.
Ah, Mary, you make me laugh! I hope you’re not serious.
Yes, you’re all correct about the cause of the miserable holidays. And…I continue to learn valuable lessons as a result that I desperately needed to learn 100 years ago. Better late than never. Also, I have very strong feelings that good things are on their way. Of course you can rarely tell the time frame attached to such feelings. I’m doing my best to find the good in everything and getting some practice with patience.
Chantal, how would you describe living pain to the fullest?